


Teaching Robots To Love: A tale of everything but

by Bremmatron33



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Angst?, Who Knows really?, fluff?, shinanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 10:05:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5739538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bremmatron33/pseuds/Bremmatron33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys has to watch Gortys this week so Fiona and Sasha craft them an adventure. Despite Rhys' crippling anxiety over his poor life choices everything goes pretty well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teaching Robots To Love: A tale of everything but

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Candidus_Lupus_Full_Moon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candidus_Lupus_Full_Moon/gifts).



> This started out as one thing and turned into nothing like that.

Rhys leaned back in his chair sighing as he looked over his most recent company financial reports. Everything was up...or as up as it should go...wait no, everything that should have been going up was up. Employee death wasn’t up despite the tragic skag incident tuesday morning. Not to mention Rakk mating season. Only like ten employees died this month, maybe nine. Rhys still hopped Jacoby might come back alive, according to Fiona Rakks were unnaturally friendly to their chosen mating partners.

Things were going great! The weather was nice for once, the company was earning the big bucks, and no one had tried to kill him in two whole weeks. So of course it was never going to last. This was a ping of his communicator, it answered itself and the airy voice of Daneca called out to him.

“Sir, Mrs. Fiona is here to see you may I send her up?”

“Uh but it’s not my week.”

“She says she knows Sir but she says it’s important.”

“Send her up.” Rhys huffed and rolled his eyes.

It didn’t take Fiona long. Rhys heard the newbie vault hunter’s footsteps before he heard the knock. “Yo, Rhys open up.” The door slid back and she waltzed in and as expected she was holding a very sleepy looking Gortys. “I got her into stand by. After she almost led me straight into an underground lava pit. She promised me it was a shortcut.”

“Is that where you found those boots, I heard you from two floors down.”

“Got these from Moxi for doing her a favor what you don’t like them?”

“No, no they’re fine I would just think after the eighth time of getting your heel caught in something you would learn and buy yourself a pair of wedges.”

“You should really listen to yourself when you talk, besides I can’t stab a guy in the chest with a pair of wedges.”

“You can if you put a knife in the front, didn’t you have something like that in an old pair of heels once?”

“Probably. ALRIGHT enough talking about my heels you’re weirding me out. I need you to take Gortys.”

“Why?”

“Because I got some shady dudes I need to deal with and I don’t want her to get hurt.”

“Give her to Sasha and August for the night.”

“Sasha’s going to be helping me out.”

“But we have a date planned!”

“Ohh yeah~, also Sasha’s canceling for tomorrow night. It’s for a vault Rhys come on.”

“August is still part of that equation, he loves Gortys.”

“He does but unfortunately he’s still recovering from his last play date with Gortys. What do you have going on that you can’t take her?”

“Well nothing now that my dates canceled but I was hoping for some alone time.”

“Well you can have some ~alone time~ with Gortys.”

“Well at least LB will be happy.”

“See, silver linings.”

“What happens if you get the Vault?”

“Don’t jump the gun.” Rhys looked at Fiona skeptically. “We’ll call you don’t worry.”

“You didn’t call me last time.”

“That wasn’t my call I was hired, this one will be all us. I promise.”

“What did you happen to get out of the Vault you were hired for?” Rhys didn’t blame Fiona but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested.

“You really wanna know?”

Uh yeah! It’s a Vault.”

“A whole lot of nothing unless you count my first legitimate Vault hunter scar that had me on my front for two weeks while Sasha did all the work. I still got paid but aside from that nothing. Vault was a fake. Some elaborate hoax some tekkies set up. They are getting way too good. We had a Mechromancer on our team so she spotted it pretty early on but the fake still packed a punch.”

“ That sucks~. Do you uhh... happen to remember their name?”

“Of course you would be interested. Sorry Rhys I wasn’t there for the key and didn’t really think of asking. Too busy screaming. If me and Gaige ever team up again I’ll ask. She seemed pretty interested in the dude.”

“Well, I’m glad you made it out of there with all of your limbs. Although it might be cool if we were arm buddies. People might start thinking we were related.” Rhys laughed awkwardly as he waved his silver arm playfully.

“You really want that?” Fiona quirked her eyebrow.

Rhys coughed to clear his throat. “You’re right what was I thinking?”

“Hey if you wanna be part of the family that bad you’re in. I already tell people you’re my cousin anyway gets me and Sasha free drinks.”

“I was wondering where those bills were coming from.”

“You’re not mad? It’s not like I don’t have my own money but hey old habits as they say.” Fiona smiled sheepishly.

“Nah, as long as you’re not running me dry. What’s the point of money if you don’t spend it?”

“I knew I liked you for a reason Rhys. You’re lucky you grew up on some other backwater planet pandora would have made you an asshole. Hyperion did a pretty good job but...what I’m saying is you could have been worse.”

“Yeah I could have grown up like you.” Rhys pulled himself from his chair and headed towards Fiona and pulled Gortys from her arms.

“Exactly.” Rhys walked back to his chair and slumped back down with a sigh, mindlessly petting the small robot in his arms. “Ehh something wrong? I know you and Sasha haven’t had a date night in a while but you don’t have to worry her and August still gush about you to the point of making my skin crawl.”

“It’s not that it’s just….it’s my fault there’s so much distance between us. When I first imagined running a company I imagined my life would be like Jack’s. Then you know I didn’t want that anymore. So when the children of Helios asked if they could help me I said sure. I figured they just wanted a little semblance in their lives without it consuming them. They’re great and happy and it’s nice to not have to do everything alone anymore but...I still never leave this place!”

“What’s stopping you?”

“I’m too neurotic. It’s not that I don’t trust the children of Helios but you know...I was once one of them so let’s just say….”

“You don’t trust a single one of them.”

Rhys cast his eyes downward in shame. “Pretty much. My dates with Sasha and occasionally August are the only things that get me out of here.”

“Well hey if you want an excuse to get out of here before we deal for the key how about me and Sasha set up a treasure/scavenger hunt for you and Gortys. I used to do it all the time for Sasha when we were little. It’s fun. I can send you the list and a map after we hid everything.”

Rhys leaned back and placed his feet on his desk. “Sounds more fun than reading stock reports. Not to mention it saves me the energy of thinking up things for Gortys and LB to do.”

“It will even force you to get some sun you capitalistic Razgul!” Rhys side eyed her, a terse disapproving look set on his face. “What was that not the right thing?”

“Stick to Vault hunting.”

“Aww come on I did my best! How am I supposed to sort through all that gibberish you and Vaughn spout?”

“If August can remember the plot to Champions of the Eleven Kingdoms then so can you.”

“You read him the book! Maybe if you read me the book I would remember!”

“I thought you get a headache from hearing my voice too long.”

“Hmm I keep forgetting about that. Guess my life will never be enriched by the riveting plot of Shilo and his hairy boyfriend’s quest to find the perfect wedding ring or whatever happens.”

“Ok I know for a fact that you watched the movie with Vaughn and liked it so your taunts will not faze me.”

“The elf lady was pretty cool I’ll give you that.”

“I can’t believe I am saying this to you but there is more to the story than hot elf babes.”

“I know, there are hot tree babes too!” Rhys gave her another disapproving glare. “Alright whatever there’s also the broceptional bromance of the two brosexual hairy dudes! Vaughn spewed his nerdlinger speak the entire movie about it. Hey, I got an idea why don’t you invite him out tomorrow and the two of you can reenact the whole thing together!”

Rhys laughed under his breath. It had been too long since he had a decent time with Vaughn, the only problem was that he usually left Vaughn to run things when he went out. He supposed he could leave Daneca in charge, the girl was a little bit of an airhead but she was also a reliable fox of a secretary. “That might actually be a nice idea...the inviting Vaughn part. I haven’t larped since college and personally I don’t think Pandora is the safest place start it up again.”

“I don’t even want to know, also I need to leave. I still have training with Athena tonight. Say hi to LB for me.” Fiona waved as she left her sharp heels clicking on the metal as she walked.

As she left Gortys’ bright blue optics lit up. The small robot’s body hummed and she swiveled to look up at Rhys. “RHYS!”

“Morning Gortys.” Rhys leaned down and blew a raspberry on the top of Gortys’ head making her giggle and squirm.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great, how about you?”

“Oh I’ve been doing a ton of stuff. We fought a crazy fake Vault monster and I met another robot! Their name was Deathtrap. They weren’t as advanced as me or Loader Bot but they were still really fun.

“Wow ok Deathtrap they do sound like fun. Hey speaking of LB let’s go see him!”

“YAY!”

* * *

 

Rhys stretched his stiff limbs and groaned as the sun beamed down on him, while Fiona had gotten her characters mixed up she wasn’t wrong it had been far too long since he had seen the sun. Vaughn was doing likewise and Rhys could hear his spine popping back into place as the accountant turned sheriff stretched. “Uggh would it kill for Pandora to have at least one chiropractor?”

“Pandora actually has plenty. Only problem is most of them are actually just trying to kill you.”

Vaughn sighed “Thems the breaks I guess. So what are we doing again?”

“Well we’re going on a treasure hunt but we’ll be hunting multiple treasures or something like that. You and me against Gortys and LB.”

“You’re just going to let them run around alone?”

“Hell no! We’ll find the spot together and then when it comes time to search then we’ll split up and look “competitively”.”

“Ah, good plan.”

“Yeah it is. So let me just check for that map.” Rhys booted up his Echo and checked his systems. There was an email from Fiona. “Alright got it! LB heads up I’m sending something to you.”

Loader Bot looked up from Gortys and awaited Rhys email. “Got it.” LB took a moment to go over the file. “This seems complicated.”

“Well it’s supposed to be a little difficult it’s like an adventure.”

“There are riddles, I still do not understand riddles.”

“That’s ok neither do I that’s why we have Vaughn and Gortys for creative thinking.”

“Yeah I’m amazing at riddles this quest is going to be great!” Gortys grabbed at Loader Bot’s servo and dragged him along. “So what’s the first riddle Rhys?”

“Umm..let’s see. Hot and dry try not to die, love Sasha. Yeah that one’s not so good, really understand now why this was more of Fiona’s thing.” Gortys was already busy spouting off potential spots.

“Well that literally gives us nothing. Most of Pandora is desert.” Vaughn was right. Rhys checked the email again. As he scrolled slowly something caught his attention. The text had been changed to a sickly yellow to blend into his echo. Rhys selected it and changed the color revealing the rest of the message. Sasha might have been better than Rhys gave her credit for.

“Oh wait don’t worry there’s more. “This place may still make some nerds cry.” Rhys glared into the distance. He had really hoped after all this time the girls would have come up with better insults.

“Oh our old Helios base!”

“Oh that makes so much more since! You are good at this Vaughn!”

“Thank you Gortys.”

“ It could simply be the wreckage of Helios in general.” Loader Bot glanced over at Rhys a worried look in his optic. Loader Bot was quite aware that his righteous father still had rather vivid nightmares of the crash. A journey to the spot might not be a good idea.

“Eegsh! That wreck might be kind of dangerous now, so let’s hope for the former because I’m pretty sure I haven’t updated my tetanus shots!” Vaughn looked up estatically at Rhys.

Rhys couldn’t help himself from smiling, Vaughn was still a nervous wreck at heart even if Pandora had made him much braver than he had been on Helios. “Yeah let’s go!” Rhys also hadn’t missed LB’s concerned look, he gave him a quick thumbs up. LB returned the gesture.

As the group set off on the journey to the old base nothing exciting happened. A skagg did manage to steal Loader Bot’s leg but Vaughn managed to beat the thing into submission with ease. Rhys didn’t exactly know how he felt about that. Slightly terrified, mildly aroused, he didn’t really want to think about it.

As he handed the leg over Rhys couldn’t help but shiver at his friends rather dark laugh. Pandora really had changed him. “Here you go. Little buggers are easy to scare off once you know their weak points!” As Rhys reattached Loader Bots leg Vaughn and Gortys spent the time finding pictures in the clouds.

Leaning in as Rhys did up the last bolts Loader Bot spoke to him softly. “Are you going to be alright if this treasure turns out to be on Helios. I am positive Fiona and Sasha were unaware of the harm the place causes you still.”

“Let’s just hope it’s not. I really don’t like the idea that either one of them actually bothered to set foot into that deathtrap.”

“They are not as fearful as you are. If this item is not at the base and is truly on Helios I suggest we skip it. It is not worth aggravating your paranoia.”

“ Wow making me feel real cool LB. We need the item to continue the quest. I’m sure Vaughn could figure out the second part without it but this is supposed to be for Gortys. I don’t want to ruin the fun just because of my baseless fears.” Rhys tried to sound chipper and unfazed but the piercing stare of Loader Bot’s single optic was starting to make him sweat a bit.

“Fear is not just weakness. If you had not feared for me you would not have found the kindness to let me go. I fear for you because we are friends. Gortys is your friend as well, she might be childish but she will understand.”

“Whoa LB, you don’t need to go deep on me there. Thanks for caring I seriously mean it but Helios is...is just like a haunted house or some other cheesy spooky something. Maybe this will be good for me, you know facing my fears and all that. If I go in there and get a good look around maybe that will convince that crazy part of my brain that Jack’s actually gone for good.”

“If you say so. However I just want you to know that your fear is not unfounded from what intel I was able to uncover in my time away from you I learned that Handsome Jack and those that worshiped him were rather $%^&*$ up individuals.They were also rather clever. The chance that multiple AI’s could exist is possible even if it is unlikely.”

“That they were Loader Bot, that they were.” Rhys threw his arm around Loader Bot’s shoulders and shook him playfully. Loader Bot felt his core warm from the pleasant feeling of acceptance and appreciation. Reaching into his bag he pulled out a canister of water and tossed it to Rhys.

“Please rehydrate. You are too warm and you are starting to become “gross”.”

Rhys couldn’t help but laugh before he uncapped the bottle and took a long drink from it. “Thanks LB. Vaughn heads up.” He tossed the bottle a little too harshly. This didn’t seem to bother Vaughn at all as he caught the cannister and followed suite in his own rehydration.

With Loader Bot fixed and the humans watered the group continued on their way. It didn’t take long for the air to become dry and for heat to wave in front of them as the base came into view. Rhys couldn’t help but sigh as the sky darkened around them from the ash in the atmosphere blocking out the relenting heat of the sun and leaving only the arid heat of the terrain.

At some point Vaughn and Gortys broke into a run assumedly in some sort of race. Loader Bot stayed back with Rhys still concerned despite the CEO’s relaxed nature. “You have been staring at Vaughn for this entire journey is something wrong between you and him?”

Rhys was taken aback he hadn’t really been staring all that much had he? “Uh no. Everythings fine I guess it’s just I guess he’s fun to look at now….ugh with the beard I mean. It’s a little weird that he hasn’t shaved it off. I mean at first it was just because he you know had to be like a crazy wildman to help protect the Children but now it’s just him, I guess and that’s weird for me.”

“Why is that weird?”

Rhys tried to preoccupy himself with his shoes hoping LB would simply drop the question but the robot was as steadfast as always. “I don’t know if I can really explain it but I met Vaughn when we went to school so and I’ve grown up with him since and yeah I watched him grow up...I grew up with him.. then Helios fell and I lost like half a year and I missed him becoming a different person. He’s still Vaughn don’t get me wrong but... we lost something. It’s crazy dumb and I know it was only a short amount of time and I feel like the cheesiest college melodrama saying this but…. I don’t know... sometimes I feel like he’s a whole new guy and I’m still me. Still living the dream I sort of wanted and still doing generally the same thing but he’s like a crazy sheriff of a town built by ex-hyperion who I sometimes ask to help me with my accounting and like some of the Children of Helios work for me but most of them have totally different lives now on Pandora. Pandora changed them or... you know they adapted to live here. I didn’t adapt I sort of just revived something that once was like a….a capitalistic necromancer!”

“That is a complicated emotion and I am not sure I fully understand. Simplifying it I am getting that you are again fearful of something. What are you afraid of? You are also perhaps slightly doubtful of Vaughn? Why?”

“I don’t know. Just maybe that I’m boring or I’m too much like the life he doesn’t really like anymore. I guess I’m afraid that one day he’s going finally stop putting up with my shit.”

“You are worried because of your choices that you will lose Vaughn’s friendship? He doesn’t seem dissatisfied. He was more than happy to come out with you today. I think you simply overthink things.”

“That’s the story of my life LB. Enough being sad let’s get in there and look for whatever weird thing the girls hid on us!”

Two hours passed as the group searched and in that time they turned up nothing.

Rhys sat cross-legged on the floor as he tried to clear a cloud of soot from his lungs. “Ok so it’s safe to say that “something that is expertly said and is also better left off dead” is not in this hell hole of a base!”

“Yeah after that volcanic eruption a few months back the place really could use an air conditioning system. Not to mention a good vacuum.” Vaughn sat next to Rhys and smacked him on the back firmly a few times in an attempt to help get his friend breathing again.

“I’m really sorry Rhys I didn’t mean to trip you.” Gortys was at his knee her tiny servos clinging to his pants leg. Rhys smiled through the burning in his chest not wanting her to feel any worse than she already did for sending him face first into a pile of ash in her reckless abandon of chasing some glowing lizard like creature that had called the abandoned base home.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m all good! Vaughn’s done way worse to me in the past.” Rhys picked her up and nuzzled the top of her head. The small bot cheered up and hugged at his neck. Leaning away he quickly managed to get Vaughn to clear the soot from his echo eye without letting her see his slightly distressed expression.

“Yeah not so long ago I pulled him out of a caravan and got us lost in the desert. Did we ever tell you the story of how we found you we totally should it’s a good one.”

“You didn’t tell me about that!”

“It was a mildly terrifying time but Vaughn found his true self that day I think.” Vaughn laughed awkwardly and slapped at Rhys’ leg.

“I found myself and Rhys was being manipulated by a crazy AI who wanted to steal his body. Good times. Just kidding I like you much better Jack free.”

“Yeah~. Me too.”

“Rhys?”

“What is it Gortys.”

“Do we really have to go to Helios to get the treasure?” Gortys looked up at him her optics bright and wide with worry.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. Fiona gave me a back up riddle in case we couldn’t find what we needed to find but don’t you wanna find the treasure.” Rhys shook her lightly in encouragement but in his own mind he was screaming with joy.

“Nope. Let’s find a different treasure! What’s the next riddle?”

“Hey wait what? What kind of adventurers are you? You can’t tell me you’re scared of that place?”

“I’m terrified! It’s probably full of corpses!”

“OH God I didn’t even think about that! You’re right let’s just skip it. Jeeze Fiona, pull out one dude’s eye with a spork and then all of a sudden we forget what health and safety codes are. Still I have a filtering Oz kit Janey fixed up for me so if you want I can go in and find it while you guys wait here.”

“Dude you are not going in there on your own!”

“I won’t be, will I Loader Bot?”

“The thrill of the hunt!”

“See LB’s got my back. I can go in find the thing and hey we can even try and find some empty original Loader Bot chassis. You still wanted your old chassis back right LB?”

“No. Rhys has been working on turning me into an android, however if some of my brethren are still salvageable it might be nice to see if we can bring them over to the light side.”

“Nice reference~. Hi five! See. It will be be quick I promise I still have most of the place memorised from when we picked at it to make this place. We’ll go in find the thing scout it out for other potential Loader Bot bro’s and then head back here.”

“I guess that will be cool? You alright with staying with me and figuring out the second clue Gortys?”

“We are an unstoppable team!”

“Yeah we are!” As Vaughn and LB left Rhys hunched over Gortys and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. Despite the sweltering heat of the base the tiny bot was still cool and pleasant.

“So what’s the next riddle Rhys?”

“Uhh good question Gortys.” Rhys booted up his Echo and searched through the email. “Good thing they’re not around to hear this it’s kind of uhh...cutesie. I really can’t tell if it’s Sasha being romantic or Fiona mocking me. I know where we’re going. Do you still wanna try to figure it out on your own?”

“Yeah I do!”

“Ok. So part of this place is the color of Pandora as seen from the moon. It is also Gortys’ favorite color in the afternoons. This place often makes even the strongest men sway. And I won’t read the last line because there’s a naughty word in it.”

“Oh well my favorite color in the afternoons is purple because the sky gets all dark and wavy. Aside from that I don’t really get the last part.”

“That’s because she’s referencing a bar and hopefully Fiona’s never let you loose in one.”

“Oh August owns a bar!”

“That he does Gortys!”

“Wow these riddles are really bad.”

“Also true but are you having fun?” She nodded and looked up at him expectantly.

“Are you having fun Rhys you seem to be doing a ton of whisper talking to Loader Bot today.”

Rhys stalled for a moment that was the problem with robots when you think you’re in the clear you’re not because they see and hear everything. “I’m ecstatic to be out here with you LB just worries about me as much as he worries about you.”

“But you’re a giant!”

“Yes but I am mostly a fleshy giant with poor living habits so he still worries about me.”

“Oh. How bad are your life habits, should I worry?” Rhys felt the tiny ball’s chassis begin to hum in fear as her processors kicked into overdrive.

“Just mildly bad but you don’t have to worry.”

“That’s good.” Gortys nuzzled into his chest comfortingly. Rhys laid back against the floor and shut his eyes not knowing what else to do. The heat of the place was starting to wear him out.

A sudden shouting from outside the base had Rhys jumping blearily to his feet, just barely managing to keep an also napping Gortys from falling to the floor. With as much coordination as he could muster he ran towards the noise only to run straight into Vaughn who was sticky with...something.

“Sup man! WE GOT THE THING!” Vaughn held a small gold claptrap replica in his hand triumphantly a large smile beaming on his face.

“Why are you sticky?”

“Oh yeah we ran into a thing but it’s ok LB killed it. What about you mumble mouth did you fall asleep? I didn’t think we were gone for that long!” Rhys nodded sheepishly as he rubbed at his eyes forgetting that he was still mostly covered in ash.

“Did you find any potential Loader Bot friends?”

“Yeah we found a shit ton and they’re really easy to get to.”

“Cool. Later this week I’ll send some guys over to excavate them. Was there something in the Claptrap? Fiona said there was supposed to be something in there.” Rhys swayed as he stood and did his best not to knock into anything.

“Rhys you look like $%^& are you in need of sustenance?” Loader Bot pulled Gortys from Rhys arms and placed a steadying servo on the taller man’s shoulder.

“ Yeah there was like a long poem and like pieces of paper for free drinks.” Vaughn passed over the figurine. “Ah shit dude LB’s right you look terrible! How long were we in there?”

“I don’t know me and Gortys took a nap but uhh…” Rhys looked at his watch, “Oh yeah wow it’s not too late but I don’t think Fiona expected us to spend most of the day in this one spot. She hid like thirty things.”

“Well then she shouldn’t have hid the first clue like a miser hides a dollar because I had to pull out my old Echo glasses to even find it.”

Rhys hummed in agreement as Loader Bot forced a piece of fruit into his hand. Rhys eagerly bit into it, sighing as the sweet juice flooded his parched mouth. “She figured I’d be there with you. This first thing was just a total jab at me anyway. It’s how we show we care.” Despite his mouth still being full from the first piece LB pressed another piece of fruit into Rhys’ hand and nudged him persistently till he got Rhys to sit back down.

“You are terrible at being a human being. Stop that.”

“Thanks LB. I’ll try.” Swallowing and wiping at the errant fruit juice from his chin Rhys wasted little time before biting into the second bit of fruit.

Vaughn joined Rhys on the floor as he pulled something to eat from his own bag. “So are we still doing this man or do you want to just head back to base with me and we can find something to do.”

“I just took a nap! I’m all good for round two plus I already know where we’re headed.”

“Oh yeah where’s that?” Vaughn chewed on his sandwich as listened and absentmindedly watched Loader Bot try to stir Gortys from her standby.

“August’s place.”

“Oh hell yeah I could use a drink.” As the two finished their snack Gortys yawned and stretched her arms, finally awake.

“Oh you’re back! Did you find the treasure?”

“Sure did Gortys!” Rhys pulled out the paper from the Claptrap figurine before tossing it to Loader Bot to give to Gortys. “Another figurine for your shelf, a sappy poem for me, free drink for Vaughn, and the gift of simply living life for Loader Bot.”

“Metaphysical gifts are the best gifts. Guns too, but that would be inappropriate for this adventure.”

Vaughn stood and held out a hand to Rhys to pull him up. “Well I’m ready how about the rest of you?”  
“Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

 

As the group made their way to Hollow Point they stopped periodically to watch the changing sky as it changed to night. The nights on Pandora were long, much longer than either man remembered them being on their own home eden planet but after living on Helios for so long both Rhys and Vaughn found it was sort of nice to just have a difference. The two men both sighed as entered into the town finally able to pull their scarves from their faces and breath easy. Well at least Vaughn got to breath easy, despite his best efforts Rhys still couldn’t escape the taste and smell of soot.

As they walked into the Purple Skag they found the place pretty much dead save for the one or two patrons sitting at the tables nursing their drinks. August was behind the bar watching the tiny holoscreen he had set up in the corner. As the group walked in his head turned and his lips pulled into a small smile. “Hey look at you losers. What happened?” August stepped out from behind the bar moving slowly thanks to his splinted left leg. Despite the injury his movement was still fluid none, of his natural swagger lost.

“We umm...yeah that shit was not easy to find. I was promised free drinks.” 

August laughed under his breath at Vaughn as he swiped at Rhys’ shoulder trying to clear the soot from his clothes. “Yeah don’t worry that was the girls plan all along. They decided it was easier to just make up riddles and mess with you than it was to actually find things and places to hide them. They only hid like five things just in case you got lucky on the first one. Go sit at the bar and I’ll pour ya one I also made you food seeing as you idiots probably didn’t eat.”

“We had snacks but I will not turn down a real meal. What happened to your leg man?” August ignored Vaughn’s question for the moment, much too preoccupied with what had happened to Rhys.

He slipped an arm around Rhys waist and pulled the taller man close, whispering. “What happened to you?”

“Tripped into a pile of ash when we were looking. I’m fine.” August nodded in understanding.

“You wanna clean up in my apartment? You can change into some of my clothes so you can actually taste your food.” Rhys shot a sideways glance to Vaughn who was jabbering with Loader Bot and Gortys. “Don’t worry I’ll keep them busy.”

“Probably a good idea my Echo’s really starting to itch. Do I still have a bottle of my saline drops here?”

“In the medicine cabinet. Doors already unlocked.”

“Alright I’ll be quick.” As Rhys slipped up the stairs August went back to the bar to get Vaughn his drink.

August’s apartment was small but it was all the brute needed to get by. Rhys wasn’t going to be all sappy by calling it quaint or cozy, the place was a shithole but by some weird contradiction it was clean and tidy shithole and Rhys had already had a few fond nights in the place and was plenty eager for more. Locking the door he pulled off his dirty clothes a tossed them too the floor unceremoniously as he made his way to the bathroom. Kicking off his shoes and socks he fiddled with his belt trying to unfasten the buckle. Free from his dirty clothes he made his way to the small sink and filled it with warm water, taking a moment to clean off his hands before plugging the basin. while the sink was filling up he dug around in the medicine cabinet for his eyedrops. He pulled them from behind a bottle of cheap aspirin and set them down on a ledge before he buried his face in the pool of warm water.

Rubbing at his face under the water Rhys couldn’t help but notice the the dripping black that was seeping from his hair and his once again dirty fingertips. He groaned and quickly washed his hands in the murky water. He had forgotten about his hair. Walking a few steps over Rhys pulled the shower head off the clip and turned on the water before leaning in and letting the cold spray soak his head. Sure in retrospect it might have just been easier to take a shower in the first place but fuck it he was already doing this. When the water finally ran clear Rhys fumbled around with the controls till the water stopped dripping.

Throwing his head back and tousling his hair Rhys sighed in satisfaction. It wasn’t perfect but it was good enough. He returned to the sink and picked up his eyedrops leaning his head back he unscrewed the lid and flushed out his Echo eye. Blinking the solution away he cycled the mechanics a few times to make sure they were clear. Mostly clean but entirely refreshed Rhys put everything back the way it was before heading over to dig around in August’s dresser.

As he searched for a somewhat decent outfit his anxiety chewed at his nerves. Vaughn was definitely going to say something the minute he walked down there. Sure August was nice enough and they had all become friends somehow in the end but you don’t just let some dude wear your clothes unless you’re pretty close...maybe? Who knew what things were like on Pandora really. Still Rhys worried, August was about just as paranoid as he was so anyone who knew him even decently would know he was rarely this nice for no reason.

He had wanted to tell Vaughn about August months ago but he never made the time or honestly found the courage and now it was going to be awkward. It wasn’t that Vaughn wouldn’t understand..it was pretty much the opposite. Rhys was afraid Vaughn would just be seriously pissed about it being well...August.

With a fresh set of clothes there wasn’t much left to do in the room besides stall and that would only make it more awkward in the end. Taking a deep breath Rhys calmed his nerves and headed downstairs. He couldn’t help but smile seeing the group laughing at the bar, even August looked happy despite the confused look on his face.

“Oh Rhys there you are! Look at what August made for me!” Gortys hopped down from her seat and bounced slightly as she hit the floor. This didn’t seem to faze her as she zipped over to Rhys’ feet and waited to be picked up. Rhys obliged and picked her up so she could wave her tiny servo at him. He spotted the purple tinted carved bone bracelet around her wrist clanging dully as she waved.

“Looks great Gortys! What did everyone else get?” Rhys set Gortys back on her stool before taking a seat himself.

“ I got a new shield.”

“I too got a bracelet. Me and Gortys are twinzies.”

“Cute.”

August set a bowl of stew in front of Rhys before lightly pulling at his chin to place a firm kiss onto his lips. A shiver of fear ran through Rhys as he felt a slight sting at his bottom lip and the warmth of August’s tongue against his own. August pulled away slowly placing another light kiss on Rhys forehead before he leaned back. “That’s your gift. Hope you like it.”

Rhys sat dumbfounded in his seat his heart beating a mile a minute from August’s kiss and the gripping fear of having to face Vaughn’s reaction to witnessing it. Rhys had really not been expecting something so overt from August, the mercenary almost never showed his affections in public, not even to Sasha. He was just too fearful of his enemies getting bright ideas. “August?”

“It’s all right. There’s no one here that we have to worry about.” August placed his hand on top of Rhys’ real one and intertwined their fingers, slowly rubbing circles into the side Rhys’ thumb comfortingly.

Rhys let his face fall into a warm smile but seriously speak for yourself August. No. This was all Rhys fault if he had just told Vaughn he was dating August and Sasha both consensually his heart wouldn’t be about to explode and his friendship with Vaughn wouldn’t about to be incinerated. Rhys slowly turned to look at Vaughn only to find his friends face buried in his meal Loader Bot however was eyeing him intensely. Though his look was one of curiosity.

Humans were quite strange. Why was Rhys so pleased and yet so upset by August’s affection? Loader Bot could only wonder, unfortunately he couldn’t wonder long with Gortys chittering at his side. Foregoing his worries he let himself be consumed by her engaging chatter.

Some time passed and the small group had all but exhausted themselves. “Well I guess we’ll be leaving whatever other nonsense the girls hid to another day or at least I will because I am all adventured out.” Vaughn yawned as he stood and stretched trying to shake away the warm contentedness and prepare for the trek back home.

“Vaughn is right. It is late and you have meetings tomorrow and I need to initiate standby soon or my processor will overload.”

“Yeah I can’t blame ya my legs starting to ache too and the guy I hired to do the night shift should be here soon anyway. Do you remember where the fast travel station is at?” August looked at Rhys and quirked his head a bit. Rhys’ heart fluttered softly in his chest. It was one of the mercenary’s cuter mannerisms.

“Yeah~” Rhys coughed trying to cover up the waver in his voice. “Yup. Just outside the city.”

“Good. Bring it in losers.” August stepped out from behind the bar and pulled the group into a tight hug, well he pulled three of them into a tight hug, Gortys bounced to the floor and hugged Vaughn’s ankles. “Alright that’s enough. Watch out for Rakks.” August pulled away and moved to lean against the wall his gaze meeting Rhys’. “Call me when you’re free and I’ll stop by with your clothes after I wash ‘em.”

“You don’t have to do that, I can just go up and get them.”

“I know you can.” August quirked his head and looked at Rhys with half-lidded eyes.

“Oh heh…. sure I’ll send you a message.” August nodded. Rhys followed the others out.

* * *

 

“So how far is this station?” Vaughn walked closely next to Rhys a billion questions on his mind but no idea how to ask them.

“About thirty minutes.”

“Not too bad.”

Rhys could feel the tension but his chest and throat felt too tight to speak, to say anything to ease it, so the two walked in silence simply listening to the robots converse instead.

Back out in the night air of Pandora Rhys found comfort in the openness and in the soothing cool of the wind and the night. He really needed to say something, Vaughn had to have picked up on at least something he was just being nice about it, waiting for Rhys to bring it up on his own time. Which was cool of him, why had he ever thought Vaughn wouldn’t have been cool, why did he always assume the worst. Oh yeah...because that way it was a better surprise when things somehow magically didn’t turn to shit.

All he had to do now was say something. Vaughn was cool, he was so cool. Everything Rhys worried about was just in his head anyway. This was going to be fine. It was a funny story at least so at the very least he would get a laugh out of Vaughn. Besides this was his thing! He was the talking guy, he got people to listen and understand even when he was just a selfish, self-depreciative douchebag. Wait why was Vaughn pulling at him.

“DUDE PLEASE JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MIND PALACE AND RUN!” Vaughn gripped Rhys tightly and dragged him as best he could.

“What?” He ran not exactly sure of what he was running from until he heard the screeching cries above him. No way! How were they already at the canyon. “When did the Rakks get-” Rhys suddenly fell forward as his foot landed on nothing. As his body smacked into the hard earth before slipping down a sudden and intense feeling of deja-vu washed over Rhys. It was cemented by his back hitting the ground and a warm body slamming into his front. Rhys vision swam and threatened to go dark.

“WASN’T TAKING JACOBY ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU MONSTERS!” Vaughn was shouting above him. “Rhys give me your stun baton, it’s in my bag by your head! Quick one’s trying to get down here!” Vaughn went silent. Suddenly he could feel Vaughn’s hands shaking him, he tried to speak, to more, but it only helped the seeping darkness blot his vision quicker, finally rendering him unconscious.

“Rhys! Rhys! Come on buddy tell me you’re not scrambled in there!” Someone was shaking him. Rhys could only assume it was Vaughn if he could have assumed anything at all in that moment. He raised a hand and gripped at the person above him and forced his eyes open. Vaughn looked down at him, stun baton in hand, using the glow of the electricity to check for serious damage. “Rhys thank god dude. Quick what’s forty-three plus seventy-seven?”

“Fuck off man.”

“Yeah it is! Are you bleeding? Can you feel all your limbs?” Rhys wiggled his fingers and flexed his feet.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“Well Rakks, and you fell into a pit and pulled me in along with you.”

“How long was I out?”

“Not long. Once I scared off the one who was trying to get friendly I started shaking you again so maybe ten minutes at most.”

“Oh. What about the bots?”

“I told them to run towards town to break up the swarm. They’ll be back eventually.”

“Hmm” Rhys hummed in understanding as something caught his attention. The sparking light of the stun baton lit up their surroundings revealing a strange series of scratches. “Oh you have got to be kidding me!”

“No no, I’m not. It was Rakks.”

“No not that. This was the pit me and August fell into. This is the will I left giving you Atlas in case no one ever found us. A touch dramatic in retrospect but at the time I was bleeding pretty badly.”

“Are you telling me you knew this pit was here and you still fell in it!”

“Well I mean...I knew it was in the area but I didn’t know that I was running into it. You were the one pulling me.”

“You’re the one with the magic eyeball! Why didn’t you have the night vision activated?”

“It doesn’t do night vision!”

“Why not my glasses did night vision?”

“Well then I guess I’ll have to put in that function.”

“Oh right different Echo. Sorry dude.” Vaughn pulled Rhys closer and rested the taller man’s head carefully on his thigh. “Thanks for breaking my fall at least. Still dizzy?”

“Not so much anymore. Do you have anything in your bag that could get us out here?”

“Nope. Honestly didn’t foresee this happening.” The two lapsed into a silence. Rhys rubbed eyes, his head now throbbing dully. “ Wait. Is that how August broke his leg?”

“No that was Gortys. He fell down the stairs. I uhh..a few months back I hired him as a bodyguard because I had to make a deal. Thought he was a pretty good option since well….”

“You were sort of together anyway.” Rhys felt his heart stop a minute.

“Yeah.So we ended up getting into a gun fight and we trying to get to the station and we fell in this pit. How long did you know about….us.”

“Well I am friends with Sasha too and you know Fiona. Unlike the girls you actually have a little tact. Don’t worry about keeping it secret from me. Sasha told me how secretive August likes to be about his relationships and I can’t blame the guy. Still I have to ask how did you manage to get yourself into that.” All this time and Vaughn already knew! Rhys breathed deeply a few times and sighed heavily. “I mean don’t get me wrong August is hot but I just never imagined you in a polyamorous relationship...well I mean not seriously at least.”

“To be honest neither did I. After I told Sasha I was interested in her and she told me about getting back with August I was set to just move on. Next thing I know she’s asking me out on a few “casual dates”. I mean I should have known something was up by how much she stressed that idea but I don’t know I’m an idiot. Then when I guess she felt it was getting serious between us she told me about how she was still seeing August, I literally feared for my life dude! She was quick about telling me he was fully aware of her going out with me so I somehow managed to get my heart beating again only to you know immediately feel a little conned. I just didn’t really get it I guess. I mean I got it from Sasha’s point but August just didn’t seem like the sharing kind of dude. Still I said sure whatever. I never really thought of him as part of the equation in the beginning. Which is super shitty but at the time I never had to actually be with Sasha and him at the same time so it was easy.”

“Oh so you just hired him as a bodyguard because he’s beefy and can shoot a gun.”

“Pretty much yeah. Then the pit happened and uhh….yeah the pit happened.”

“Oh really, did it? You don’t say.”

“I don’t really think you want me to go into detail Vaughn.”

“Oh it was that kind of pit adventure. I don’t know I might want you to go into detail, but not now it might gross me out.”

“Good call. So yeah things happened and it’s working really well for us. The three of us have only really spent time together like once because we’re shitty adults but so far we’re all happy.”

“Good for you man making your dreams be more than dreams.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking this so well.” Vaughn felt Rhys’ start shaking from his built up nervousness..

“Dude why because of what we had in college. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Are you seriously not pissed about my shitty cop-out.”

 “Rhys I know you man that wasn’t a cop-out it was the truth. It was college I was just happy you didn’t hate me for confessing. We tried, you dumped me. You had your reasons and I wasn’t going hate you for wanting to protect our friendship. I knew when it wasn’t going to work out. The only shitty thing you did was stay at Yvette’s dorm for like a week and refused to talk to me and I wasn’t even really mad about that. You were a gentle giant with a hearty glamour but beneath it all you were spun from delicate nerd webbing and stuffed to the brim with too many anxieties to count. I’m honestly glad you just got it over with before your soul imploded.”

“I wish you had told me you knew already. I’ve been such a shitty friend since starting Atlas back up I figured finding out I had been keeping shit from you would have just been the last straw.”

“ You have not been a shitty friend. Do you just live your life coming up with worst possible scenarios for every event in your life?”

“Yes! How do you think I got so far on Helios. The one time I didn’t worry we ended up on Pandora forced to work with two Con women so we wouldn’t die!”

“Yeah, and now our lives are awesome! You know despite the constant threat of death around every corner but...still awesome. You just gotta stay out of your own head man and live in the moment.”

“You sound like an inspirational poster.”

“I am the living embodiment of a inspirational poster! Specifically tailored just for you, it’s what friends do Rhys.”

“I know but I just feel like a selfish dick sometimes. You do so much for me and I do almost nothing for you.”

“Rhys you do plenty for me just because you somehow can’t see that doesn’t mean I can’t. This is what you get for sticking to corporate work. I told you, you should have just gotten some training and been a Vault Hunter with Fiona.”

“Well supposedly I just might get that chance if this deal goes through for Fiona, we all will.”

“Aw sick! I could use another roadtrip.”

“Yeah man, me too.” Rhys sighed and stared up into the perfect circle of night sky, the tightness in his chest ebbing away leaving only the dull ache of the rest of his body. Why did this sort of thing have to happen before he learned better. He couldn’t really complain but still if Loader Bot and Gortys didn’t show up soon there was no way he was going to make it to his morning meetings.

* * *

 

As the night wore on with no sign of Loader Bot or Gortys both Vaughn and Rhys slipped into a fitful sleep. A sudden and shrill voice awoke them some time later.

_“Humans just love holes! They talk about them all the time, you find them in holes all the time, it’s part of their mating rituals. ^ &$*#%, %&$*#, *$%@, all just glorified holes! Trust me I know all about humans! What you witnessed was a fight for dominance! Unlike most creatures who use brute strength to fight for mates humans like to use a more subtle approaches with nonverbal gestures, visual cues, and scent marking. I’m sure you’ve seen them lick each other before….isn’t it #$%^&*! gross. I can tell you without a doubt that we’ll find your missing humans copulating in a hole somewhere.”_

“Is that a Claptrap?”

“I think so, can you hear what he’s talking about?”

“No clue.”

_“I do not think that is right.”_ Loader Bot’s monotone voice could be heard from somewhere up above.

“Oh thank god Loader Bot.” Rhys quickly stood despite the somewhat concerning pain in his leg and shouted up to the robot. “Loader Bot down here!”

_“Wait I hear them. Rhys! Shout again”_

“LB, buddy we’re over here!”

A heavy stomping heralded Loader Bot nearing the pit, a few moments later his bright optic peered down at the two from above. “We need to stop meeting like this.”

A few seconds later a dark gray and gold Claptrap also peered down at them. “See what did I tell you. Your two humans were probably huddling for warmth in the safety of his pit. It’s in the nature of the superior human to protect his more juvenile mate.” Loader Bot stared down at Rhys and Vaughn for a moment quizzically. Remembering his previous rescue of Rhys and August from a similar situation Loader Bot took a moment to consider remembering the Claptraps finding.

“Uh ahem what did he just say? What has he been telling you? I tripped and dragged us both in here by accident! We didn’t come down here for fun!”

“Yeah and I am not juvenile I’m thirty years old you piece of scrap metal. Say that shit to my face when I get out of here and I’ll show you who keeps who warm in this friendship!”

“Vaughn really?”

“What? I’m not going to let that thing demean me just because I’m smaller than you! I’ve saved your ass hundreds of times.”

“After we get out of the pit man! Plus I have saved your ass way more times than you’ve saved mine!”

“Enough! Please take the rope and consider the the simple truth that it is I who wears the proverbial pants in our friendship.”

Vaughn and Rhys looked at other for a long moment before ultimately shrugging in defeat. He wasn’t wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who cares Jacoby is perfectly happy living amongst the Rakks. I'm sorry Borderlands fandom.


End file.
